I do not know if what I am going through is DEPRESSION.

I am stressed all the time. I want to do everything perfectly and my mind demands closure for everything. I just cant let go of things. At work, I struggle because I am always scared that some day the employees might not obey me. I am scared of them. Due to that, I end up taking less work than I can so that I dont have to confront them. At home, I am scared of my elder brother and the fact that I might upset him. Not just in my head, but if things don't go his way he doesn't like it. The same goes for my parents. My girlfriend is insecure about everything and she demands live updates about everything I do and freaks me out. I love her and I want to be with her but her insecurities irritate me. I address them with all I can do. I have stopped talking to any other girl of or near my age group because of her insecurities. Hell, she is even insecure about me talking to some of my female cousins. Her insecurities are a reflection of her past but it causes anxiety. People say follow your passion. I have changed 4 careers and I am still finding my passion. I dont know what really drives me. I am weak from inside. Each of my family member including me keeps showing how much we are contributing to the family. My mother is always irritated and depressed. My father is always stressed and keeps on taking more. My elder brother tries to avoid bringing work stress at home but he dosen't speak to me if he dosen't have any work to get done from me. I am not great at conversations. People don't like listening to me. People often cut me off while i speak. I have a lack of confidence as well as conviction. 

Posted By Archit
1 Replies
Sun Oct 10 2021

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